Muse of Dragons
by Jolt T.R.H
Summary: Various humorous inklets of thought, mainly involving Nappa and some Vegeta.
1. Ghosts (Part 1)

Tloj:_ Hi, this is Tloj. I have some exciting news! I have become inspired to write! This is a collection of random things me and my brother Reagan have come up with rather recently. At least, at this moment in time. It mostly has to do with Dragon Ball Z, and for you to understand, you must first watch Dragon Ball Z. After that, watch Dragon Ball Z Abridged by Team Four Star. All of them. Including specials. Or, just watch Abridged and all specials and skip Dragon Ball Z. These stories are AU, and are not meant to make fun of Dragon Ball Z, Abridged, or anything else. It is, for all intents and purposes, supposed to make you laugh until you cry. Or, cry until you go insane and start laughing. Whichever. And now, all aboard my train of thought! I'd better catch it before it leaves the station!_

_I do not own any of these characters, only the story and any semblance of a plot. Dragon Ball is owned by various companies, the only one I can actually remember the name of being Toei Entertainment. Dragon Ball Z Abridged is owned by the before-mentioned companies and Team Four Star. You know, because they're the ones who abridged it._

_Cookies to the person who can guess, without looking, the episode of Abridged that this is based around._

* * *

Ghost Nappa was happy. Not insanely happy, or conquer the universe happy. Just Team Four Star Dragon Ball Z Abridged Nappa happy. Just like always. He enjoyed being happy. Especially since his best buddy Vegeta wasn't happy. Ever. Sure, there were times that he would laugh and smile, but Vegeta just wasn't the happy type. So, Ghost Nappa was happy for the both of them!

Of course, he was also a bit sad. Since he was a ghost, he couldn't keep his modeling career! Plus, that short midget bald guy cut his face. But he didn't mind. The midget probably missed a bug and hit him instead. Besides, he was bald too! They were bald brothers, and he couldn't stay mad at a bald brother!

Now, where was he again? Oh, right, on Planet Namek. He didn't know why, but Vegeta decided to fight Frieza. I mean, seriously! Lord Frieza?! Sure, there was the whole Planet Vegeta blowing up thing, but no one could defeat Frieza! Well, except for the Legendary Super Saiyan. His name was Bardock. Say, wasn't that Kakarot person's dad named Bardock too? He wondered if they were the same person. If only he could find out!

"Hey, wait! I'm a ghost now!" Ghost Nappa exclaimed. "And I'm sure Bardock is dead. Maybe I can go visit him. But first, I need to check on Vegeta!"

Pleased with this course of action, he flew until he was on Namek and found Vegeta in a lake. Vegeta was thinking to himself, "It should be right here. Right here… Where the hell is it?!"

Nappa decided to voice his opinion as Vegeta hit a realization. "He took the Dragon Ball."

Vegeta could scream so loud! Nappa was amazed at how loudly he could yell! He should totally join the opera or something. You know, to make himself some money since Nappa wasn't around to do his modeling career. But, now that he had checked on Vegeta, he could go visit Bardock!

He shifted planes of existence until he was on Snake Way, the fastest place to get anywhere and find anyone. He wondered if Princess Snake would mind if he came over for a snack, but he decided that she would just mutter something then chase him around a little. She always did whenever he came for food. But still, it **was** good food. Meh, maybe on the way back.

He loved that on Snake Way, he grew legs again. He didn't understand why, but he loved his legs. Better than a mermaid tail, anyways. If he had his legs, then that meant he had his Saiyan tail too. He wondered why Great Ape forms required tails. Especially since apes don't have tails. Monkeys have tails, not apes! He learned that from a human Earth channel show. It was called Veggie-Fruit or something. It was such a catchy song too. If it doesn't have a tail, it's not a monkey! If it does have a tail, then it's not an ape, it's a monkey, 'cuz a monkey has a tail, and if it doesn't have a tail it's an ape! SO CATCHY!

Anyways, he roamed around until he found the dead Planet Vegeta and the Saiyan race. They lived on their dead home Planet Vegeta. Of course, since it looked exactly the way it did before Frieza destroyed it, I guess it would technically be a Ghost Vegeta Planet, now wouldn't it? Anyways, he roamed around, asking for directions, until he came unto a place that held Bardock and his team. He wondered if Bardock talked like Kakarot. Kakarot was so funny! Nappa didn't know why Vegeta didn't laugh at Kakarot's jokes. They were funny jokes, just like Nappa's!

He walked inside and looked around. It looked surprisingly like a yellow cloud room with no ceiling, just like Snake Way. Maybe it was a back door or something. He found Bardock standing there, fists clenched and gritting his teeth. "Oh, wow! He looks a lot like a Legendary Super Saiyan!" Nappa said to himself.

"Mister Bardock! I'm Nappa, and I have some questions to ask you!" Nappa exclaimed.

Bardock looked at him and growled, "I'll answer all your questions, as long as you get rid of this imbecile!"

Nappa looked in the direction that Bardock was pointing, and saw a strange alien.

"Oh, wow! A Frieza Planet Four-One-Niner! I thought they were extinct!" Nappa exclaimed.

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" It exclaimed.

"Oh wow! You can see the future?!" Nappa asked excitedly. "What's my future?!"

"**YOU WILL BECOME A GHOST!**" It answered.

"Oh no! But if I become a ghost, I'll have to quit my modeling career! Oh, wait, I am a ghost! And I was fired from my modeling career! NOOOO!" Nappa wailed.

Bardock face palmed and growled, "I'm surrounded by idiots!"

Nappa asked, "Well, okay, so I'm a ghost. Can you tell me the future?"

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" It exclaimed again.

"Yes, I know that. So what's my future?" Nappa asked.

"**YOU WILL BECOME A GHOST!**"

Bardock groaned while covering his face while Nappa gasped and exclaimed, "Oh no! But if I become a ghost, I'll have to quit my modeling career! Oh, wait, I am a ghost! And I was fired from my modeling career! NOOOO!"

"Oh my God. Shut up, both of you!" Bardock roared, silencing both of them.

"Oh, sorry. So, can I ask you my questions?" Nappa inquired.

"Fine, just shut him up!" Bardock shouted, pointing at the fish-faced alien.

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" It screeched again.

"Really? Can you tell me my future?!" Nappa asked excitedly.

Bardock could feel himself getting a migraine. "Please ask me your questions so you can leave already!" He shouted.

"Oh, right." Nappa said, turning to Bardock. "Are you the Legendary Super Saiyan?"

Bardock crossed his arms, thinking about that. "Hm… I guess I was."

"Are you also Kakarot's father?!" Nappa asked excitedly.

"Kakarot… I haven't heard that name in a long time! I think so. Why? Is he still alive? I've been dead for a long time. And so has this guy."

"**YOU TOO CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" It screeched.

"**I KNOW ALREADY, YOU KEEP TELLING ME! STUPID ASS PSYCHIC POWERS!**" Bardock roared.

"Yeah, he is. He kinda killed me. And defeated my best friend Vegeta." Nappa said.

"Vegeta? You mean King Vegeta?" Bardock inquired.

"No, the prince! King Vegeta made me stick with his son so that he doesn't die to Frieza. Speaking of which, did you know that Vegeta is a prison-"

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" The alien yelled.

"…Bitch." Nappa finished.

Bardock laughed, saying, "Okay, that's the funniest thing I've heard in a long time!"

"Well, now that I know that you're the Legendary Super Saiyan, I guess I'd better go now. C'mon, Mister Alien Guy!" Nappa said, leaving.

"**DON'T FORGET THAT YOU CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" The alien exclaimed, following Nappa away.

Bardock groaned, slamming the door behind them.

"So Mister Alien, where should we go next?" Nappa asked.

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" It responded.

"You're right! We should check on Vegeta!" Nappa exclaimed excitedly.

The two turned to go to Vegeta, but paused when Nappa heard someone shout at them. Rather rudely too.

"Hey Jackals! Where the hell am I?!"

Nappa turned around and said, "Oh, hey Dodoria! You're a ghost too!"

Dodoria looked at herself (You read that right) and shouted, "I'm dead?! I can't be dead!"

"But you're not dead! You're a ghost!" Nappa pointed out.

"What the hell's the difference?!" Dodoria roared.

"I dunno. But this guy can see the future!" Nappa said, motioning to his fish-faced companion.

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" The alien agreed.

"Oh God, not a Frieza Planet Four-One-Niner. I thought they were extinct!" Dodoria groaned.

"This one's been following the Legendary Super Saiyan Bardock. But you don't believe in Super Saiyans, so I'm just gonna check on Vegeta now. Wanna join us?" Nappa asked.

"Well… I am a ghost now. So… I guess I don't have anything else to be doing." Dodoria muttered.

"Great! But once we get there, I'm gonna be the only one to talk to him. He would probably commit suicide if you two showed up. And, just saying, that would be a real dick move." Nappa said, the three flying back to where Nappa had last left Vegeta.

He came just in time to hear Vegeta growl, "I am here for it."

"Here for what?" Nappa asked.

"Dragon…Ball… Ineed… thatDragonBall…Giveittome…Theoneyoutook…Needmywish…" Vegeta babbled incoherently.

"…I think your rage broke, Vegeta…" Nappa said carefully.

"SHUT UP, GHOST OF NAPPA!" Vegeta snapped.

"What was that?" Krillin asked nervously.

"I'MNOTCRAZY!YOU'RECRAZY!ESPECIALLYYOU, NAPPA!" Vegeta roared.

"Eeeey…" Nappa said confusedly before disappearing.

He appeared next to the others and said, "Uh, he doesn't want to be disturbed…"

"So… What do we do now?" Dodoria asked, feeling bored.

"I dunno… Wanna play hide and seek?"

"Sure."

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

"Really?! What's my future?!"

"Gods, I'm surrounded by idiots."

Nappa turned around, surprised to hear a new voice, and was surprised to find Raditz.

"Oh, hey Raditz! How was hell?" Nappa greeted.

"Gods, don't remind me! I was stuck with these two creepy German guys. They didn't even know proper English! What the hell's a sveat?! And what's a sqvat?!" Raditz growled.

"I dunno… but this guy can see the future!"

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

"…This is going to be a loooong day." Raditz groaned.

"Oh, that reminds me! Did you know that Vegeta's a prison-"

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

"…Bitch."

* * *

Tloj:_ Aaaand I'll end it right here. The second half I will try to get out next Sunday. I assure you that it will be even more entertaining than this one! Why? Because Vegeta becomes a ghost and be tortured even more by Nappa! Mwahahaha! Until next time, R&R and stuff._


	2. Ghosts (Part 2)

Tloj: _Allow me to bring you up to speed from the last part. It has been a few hours now. Nappa, Dodoria, Raditz, and the fish-faced alien have been playing hide-and-seek for pretty much the entire time, hence why I cut ahead a few hours. I probably should've cut back when Goku landed and singlehandedly destroyed three out of five of the Ginyu Force and asked how Vegeta got seriously mauled, basically the same time Nappa decided to check on his alive friend and suggested that he fell down the stairs. Vegeta has just put Goku into the healing pod and pretty much fell asleep and woke up needing to pee, nearly missing the wish-making dragon and very mad that he didn't get his wish. He also almost peed himself when Frieza showed up. After fighting for assuming thirty minutes at most (And Piccolo showing up), Vegeta asked Krillin to, get this, __**almost**__ kill him. Krillin did so happily, and Vegeta got healed before Little Green was blown into pieces. Vegeta has gotten his ego handed to him, and now Goku will come out of the pod any minute now. Let's check up on Kakarot, shall we?_

* * *

_Disclaimer: I do not own anyone here. That being said, I do wish I owned the fish-faced alien. Just so that he can appear at times of my choosing, in whichever story I choose. I do own the sort of semblance to plot, however, except for the bits which came directly from TFS's DBZA. Cyber-cookies to the person that can name the two consecutive episodes I used. And, for the previous chapter, the episode I used is episode 18.  
_

_Vegeta's got a lovely bunch of Dragon Balls, do do do do..._

* * *

Goku floated there, submerged in Super-Polymorphic-Unleashing-Gel. He didn't really mind. He was a little bored though. Hence, why he was currently occupying himself by singing.

"_Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream! Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream! Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream!_"

At this time, King Kai decided to join in. "_Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream! Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream!_"

After a few moments, Tien joined in for the heck of it. "_Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream! Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream!_"

Unbeknownst to them all, more people were singing along. But, being dead and not tuned in to King Kai's frequency kinda meant that they were out of contact.

"_Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream! Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream!_" Nappa sang happily (Not to mention very loudly).

Dodoria and Raditz were standing there, feeling awkward, as their de facto leader had just randomly broke into song. And his voice also attracted the final member to voice his very much unneeded opinion. Repeatedly.

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE! I CAN SEE THE FUTURE! I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" The alien screeched over and over, every time Nappa finished a verse.

Finally, Raditz cracked and started singing too. "_Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream! Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream! Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life is but a dream! Row, Row, Row your boat-_"

Suddenly, the pod dinged and Goku stated, "Done!" as he tore off the mask and blew off the glass, rocketing out.

At the exact same time, Nappa said, "He's done!" He did this so randomly that he cut everyone off.

"Okay then. So now what?" Dodoria asked.

"We check on Vegeta! Hey, wait, isn't that a space duck?" Nappa asked.

Dodoria listened and said, "Ah, such a majestic creature!"

Goku exclaimed, "Oh no, Krillin! Imma coming!"

Dodoria growled, "Wait, you mean the space duck I heard was actually a person?!"

Nappa shrugged and said, "Apparently. Anyways, let's check on Vegeta!"

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

"Oh, for God's sake! Shut up already!" Raditz shouted.

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" It screeched again.

Dodoria stated, "Don't talk to it; you're only giving it attention."

Raditz complained, "But it's so freaking annoying! Nappa, can't we just kill the thing?!"

Nappa answered, "Saiyan who's as strong as a Saibaman says whut?!"

Raditz asked incredulously, "What?"

Nappa exclaimed, "That is correct!"

Raditz realized what had just happened and growled, his eyes narrowed, "I. Hate you."

Dodoria said indifferently, "We all hate each other, get over it."

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

Dodoria continued, "Well, except him. I have half a feeling he doesn't even know who we are."

Nappa said happily, "Oh, there's Vegeta! He's just laying there… Like that guy that died to a Saibaman… He was Kakarot's Raditz, I think!"

Raditz muttered, "I'm his brother, you idiots… That would technically mean that I'm that team's Raditz too… Not that it matters, I'm still insulted."

Nappa continued, "And there's Lord Frieza! What a boss, he's helping Vegeta back to his- Oh wait, he's kicking Vegeta's ass. How many Raditz does that make Lord Freiza?"

Dodoria mentioned, "Last he told me, he said he was approximately five hundred Raditz and three Yamcha's, regarding the exchange rate. What's a Yamcha, anyway?"

Meanwhile, on King Kai's planet, Yamcha sneezed before saying, "For some odd reason, I feel insulted, yet at the same time honored. Weird."

Back with Nappa and friends, Nappa said, "Aaaand there's Kakarot. Who wants to bet that Frieza kills somebody within ten minutes?"

Dodoria raised her(?) hand and said, "I got twenty Raditz on the Namekian!"

Raditz crossed his arms and said, "I have ten on Vegeta."

Nappa finished, "And I've got twenty on that rock formation over there!"

Raditz scowled and stated, "Nappa, did Dodoria fart on you again? Rocks aren't alive!"

Nappa said conspiratorially "I never said that that someone had to be alive in the first place. There are no rules that say Lord Frieza can't kill something that's already dead."

Raditz scowled and humphed, "Whatever."

The fish-faced alien screeched, "**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

Nappa said happily, "I know! Don't spoil the surprise for the rest of us, okay?"

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" The alien said obligingly.

Goku asked, "Are you that Freezer guy?"

Frieza said haltingly, "I am Lord Frieza, yes."

Goku said eagerly, "Awesome! Imma deck you in the shnozz!"

Dodoria said, "Hm, I've never heard that one before."

Frieza shot Goku, and Goku reflected it off into the sky.

Surprised, Frieza immediately shot another, which Goku also blocked into the exact same rock formation that Nappa had bet for.

As Frieza unleashed a hail of lasers, Nappa collected his earnings triumphantly.

"And that's why I was King Vegeta's Vizier!" Nappa exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah. Now let's see if any of us gets our money back." Raditz growled.

"Well I don't know about you guys, but I have complete and utmost faith in Vegeta! As long as he doesn't say the Super Saiyan speech again."

All four were silent as Vegeta coughed and began saying that Goku was the Super Saiyan, only to have Frieza blast him again in the chest.

"Vegeta, no!" Nappa exclaimed.

"Vegeta, no!" Goku exclaimed.

"Vegeta, no!" Gohan exclaimed.

"Don't worry, Little Green'll-" Krillin started, pausing when he remembered that Dende was dead.

"Oh… Vegeta, no!"

Piccolo rolled his eyes and said, "Meh."

"Well, I still like him as a friend." Nappa said after a moment of silence.

"Can I have my money back?" Raditz asked.

"Are you alright?" Goku asked.

Although very out of it at the moment, Vegeta managed to say incredulously, "I have… A f*cking hole in my chest. WHY DIDN'T YOU BLOCK THAT ONE?!"

Goku said defensively, "I thought you had it!"

Vegeta cried, "NO!"

Dodoria stated, "I'm surprised he's still talking; I thought Lord Frieza hit a lung or something."

Vegeta coughed out chunks of blood.

"Ah, there it is!" Dodoria said, pacified.

"Kakarot, if you are ever going to listen to anything I have to say, do it now." Vegeta groaned.

"What is it Vegeta?" Goku asked seriously.

"I've lived… my entire life under Frieza's rule… My entire kingdom… My race… was enslaved… to do his bidding." Vegeta struggled to say.

"I understand now!" Goku said. "If it weren't for Freezer, you wouldn't be-"

"Dying?" Vegeta interrupted. "No."

"…I was gonna say evil."

"Oh, no. I'd definitely still be evil. If this situation was reversed, this conversation would never have happened." Vegeta said. "You'd be dead, and I'd be laughing. Hahaha… Oh, it hurts to laugh…"

"So…" Goku said curiously, "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because Kakarot, you are our races' last hope. You are the last remaining Saiyan."

Vegeta paused at what he just said before the realization gave him a heart attack. "Oh God. You're the last remaining Sayain!"

With that, he died.

Nappa turned around, and there lay Vegeta, in all his ghostliness.

"Wha…? Where am I?" Vegeta groaned before coughing and sitting up.

He froze when he heard, "Vegeta! You're alive! I mean, dead! I mean, a ghost!"

Vegeta's face became filled with horror as he said, "Oh God. Please don't let that be Nappa. Oh pleeaase let that not be Nappa!"

He turned slowly with his eyes closed, praying silently that this was just a dream, before he cracked an eyelid, daring a peek.

Nappa stared back at him.

Vegeta closed his eye again, groaning, "Oh, Goddammit Nappa."

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

There was dead silence before Vegeta breathed, "Ah… Sh*t."

* * *

Tloj: _Well, looks like it's gonna be three parts. Oh well, now I can go all out!_

_Do you have any ideas for future stories? Don't be afraid to tell me! R&R, and see you next Sunday!_


	3. Ghosts (Part 3)

"Hey Vegeta? Hey Vegeta? Hey Vegeta? Hey Vegeta? Hey Vegeta? Hey Vegeta? Hey Vegeta? Hey Vegeta? Hey Vegeta? Hey Vegeta? Hey Vegeta? Hey Vege-"

Vegeta snapped and roared, "WHAT?! WHAT ALREADY?!"

Nappa smiled and said, "Uh… I forgot."

Vegeta screamed and kicked a wall, the wall exploding into various chunks of brick and dried cement.

Raditz stated, "I swear, it's just like old times. Except we have Dodoria. And a freak."

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

Vegeta snapped, "Can't you get that thing to shut up?! God, it's like I hit the idiot lottery! I have an idiot Saiyan…"

"Hey." Nappa greeted to no one in particular.

"A fat, ugly alien girl…"

"Hey, who are you calling fat and ugly?!" Dodoria growled.

"A Saiyan so weak his name is only good for power reading and currency…"

"At least my name is well known!" Raditz snapped.

"…And a fish faced freak that won't SHUT HIS MOUTH!" Vegeta roared.

"**I MUST STOP MY PLANET FROM BEING DESTROYED! IN THE FUTURE!**"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, you can always haunt people, since you're a ghost and all." Nappa said.

Vegeta growled, "You expect me, the Almighty Prince of ALL Saiyans, to float around aimlessly, look for idiots such as yourselves that have caused me great pain in the past, and attempt to take revenge on their pitiful brains in a futile attempt to wet their pants?"

Nappa nodded.

Vegeta roared, "**THAT, IS THE MOST-** Okay I'm game, how do you do it?"

Nappa said, "Ballin'. So, the first thing you need to do is… Go to the soul tester to see if you'll go to heaven, hell, or purgatory."

Vegeta raised an eyebrow and said unamusedly, "Whut?"

Raditz stated, "You need to test first. If you are like my brother, you will go to heaven. If you are evil, you will need to go to hell and the only way out is through these two large sweaty German guys that'll try to wrestle you with horrible accents. And finally, if you are like Nappa, you will just go to purgatory until you do some great act that will decide your fate."

Nappa said excitedly, "I was hoping to go on some epic adventure, like climb on top of Space Mount Everest, save some beautiful dame, and finally be told that no adventure is complete without a fresh change of underwear. Buuut, being a ghost is SO MUCH FUN!"

Vegeta crossed his arms and said, "Well, there is no chance that I'll go to heaven. So, I guess I could luck out and go to purgatory."

Dodoria clicked her tongue and said, "Those German guys weren't so tough. Then again, they took it easy on me for being a lady."

Vegeta looked at Dodoria unamusedly and stated, "Okay, this is getting old. You are, without a doubt, THE ugliest girl in the blasted universe. There is no freaking way that you could get a date with anybody, unless you lucked out and got married to Ginyu. So shut your ugly face. Before I stop being nice."

Dodoria snapped, "How is this related to any topic? And how would you know?"

Vegeta stated, "Do you even remember if they where snickering as they told you that? Because you are a f***ing joke."

Raditz stated, "Can we get the love fest over and get to whatever we're supposed to be doing?"

Vegeta grudgingly backed down and growled, "So where do I take this test?"

Raditz pointed, and Vegeta turned to see a giant house with a line of souls in front of the door.

With a sigh, Vegeta walked and got in line.

Ten excruciating minutes later, Nappa was getting bored. Again. It was boring when your best friend left to do things and left you alone. Not that Nappa minded, he wasn't really alone.

Nappa finally decided to have a staring contest with his other best friend, that fishy alien guy whose name he still didn't know. And that's when Vegeta came back.

"Okay, I waited in line and got stuck in purgatory. Now how do I haunt Kakarot?" Vegeta asked.

Nappa turned and paused. He stared for a minute before saying, "Uh… Vegeta?"

Vegeta snapped, "Just tell me how to go ghost already. My day is bad enough as it is!"

Nappa gulped before saying. "Uh, just go up to Kakarot and start haunting him."

Vegeta became see through as he said, "This is going to be fun."

Currently, Goku was underwater.

"Brain! Status report!" Goku exclaimed.

"Blaaaagh… Rest in Peace." His brain responded.

"Well that's not good! That's not… good… at all…" Goku thought as he fainted.

Vegeta thought that this was the perfect time to haunt him, if only to make sure he didn't die.

"Kaaakarooooot… Kaaaaaakarooooot… Kaaaaaaaka- You know what, screw this. Wake up, dumbass!"

"Ah!" Goku said, surprised.

He looked around and questioned, "Vegeta?"

Vegeta appeared, saying, "You're failing your race, Kakarot! Frieza is unlike any opponent you ever faced! You need to embrace your heritage, become the Saiyan you were meant to be-"

"Why are you naked?" Goku asked curiously.

"What?" Vegeta asked, confused.

"You're naked. Why?" Goku asked.

"Idiot, you don't take your clothes with you when you die." Vegeta said, unsure of where Kakarot was going with this.

"Well I did." Goku said.

"Whut?" Vegeta asked, astounded.

"Yeah. I even had my weighted training clothes too; and I didn't even die in those. Huh." Goku said.

"Why that lying red motherf*cker!" Vegeta shouted, outraged.

He continued calmly, "Anyway listen Kakarot, inside you is the burning, primal fury of the Saiyan race! Like a wild, raging Ozaru, you must unleash it, Kakarot!"

"So… do I gotta throw my poo at him?" Goku asked questioningly.

"Oh for God's- just use your stupid Kaio-Whatever!" Vegeta shouted.

"Oh, okay. Thanks Vegeta!" Goku said happily.

"F*ck off. Imma go get my clothes back." Vegeta said, fading out.

He appeared in front of Nappa and snapped, "Why didn't you tell me that you could keep your clothes?! I thought I had to buy new ones!"

Nappa raised his hands in a pacifying way and answered, "You told me to be quiet, so I did."

Raditz inquired, "We're all wearing clothes, whatever gave you that stupid idea?"

Vegeta scowled and stated, "That huge red guy told me that you didn't keep your clothes when you die. And something about mahogany."

"Oh, that tale where the wood of his desk comes from Malchior 7 and breathes fire, and can bend time and space itself? Yeah, he tells that to everyone that complains." Nappa said.

Vegeta said, "Yeah, yeah. I'm going to get my clothes back now."

"Maybe when you come back, we can go haunting." Nappa said excitedly.

"Maybe my friend would like to join us." Raditz said.

Vegeta snorted, "You? Have a friend? Pssh, yeah right."

Raditz said, "No, seriously, he helped me get out of Hell. He says he's a Saiyan from another universe."

Nappa hopped happily up and down as he said, "Yay, more Saiyans!"

Vegeta stated, "And you actually believe him?"

Raditz countered, "Hey, he could turn SSJ, unlike us. If he can, and he's not from this universe, then I can't tell him that he isn't."

"Whatever. I'm gone. We will discuss this when I return." Vegeta said, turning and flying away.

Nappa turned to Raditz and asked excitedly, "What can this Saiyan do?! Can he fly?! Can he shoot eye lasers?! Is he invincible?! Is he awesome in every way?!"

Raditz answered, "Yes, yes, yes, and no. He can turn SSJ, and he says he's also a superhero… I didn't understand that part."

"I can't wait to meet him! But until then, Imma eat my Butterfinger! And you guys can't have any!" Nappa said, whipping a Butterfinger out of nowhere.

Raditz blinked and said, "Wha- …Where did you get a Butterfinger?! I wanna Butterfinger! Gimme that Butterfinger!"

Nappa clutched it close to his body and shouted, "No!"

He then turned and flew as fast as he could, Raditz on his trail, as he shouted behind him, "You can't lay a finger on my Butterfinger!"

Dodoria stood there, silent, before glancing at the only other person in the vicinity, who had for some reason not said a word in more than half an hour.

"You sure are quiet." Dodoria stated.

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" it shrieked.

"…I spoke too soon."

"**I MUST SAVE MY PLANET FROM EXPLODING! IN THE FUTURE!**"

"Please stop talking now."

"**THE FUTURE SPEAKS TO ME!**"

"Oh please make it stop!" Dodoria wailed, before turning and flying after Nappa and Raditz.

The alien stood for a minute before screeching, "**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" and flying after his team.

* * *

Tloj: _And here's part 3. Hopefully I can finish by the next chapter or the one after that. Everyone is owned by whoever owns them. Used Episode 28 of TFS's DBZA. Hope you enjoyed!_


	4. A Day With The Queen

Tloj:_ Sorry for the late post, but Jolt (The Author) had Air Guard duty on the weekend and only just got back on and wrote this. It's more of a peacekeeper; the real story will return next week and it'll be TWICE as long! Hopefully because we finished it. -_-;_

* * *

Vegeta stared at his companion with an icy glare.

Nappa watched Vegeta warily.

After a minute of staring, Nappa asked, "So… How's your fish sandwich with fries, Vegeta?"

Vegeta looked down at his half-eaten fried fish sandwich and answered, "Meh, it's not a Big Mac, but it will suffice. How is your Blizzard?"

Nappa ate a spoonful and sighed happily, "Like I'm eating Antarctic heaven."

Vegeta looked over at the table next to them and asked, "Is that sandwich killing you yet, Kakarot?"

Goku looked down at his sandwich and asked, "Why, what's wrong with it? Is it going to try to conquer the world?"

Vegeta blinked before saying sarcastically, "It's planning on rallying all club sandwiches together to overthrow the world powers and replace every living being with pastrami."

Goku's eyes grew to the size of saucers before exclaiming, "Really?! I must stop it's fiendish plan!" With a determined look on his face, he yelled before scarfing the sandwich in two bites.

Krillin munched on some fries as he asked, "So what flavor did you get, Nappa?"

Nappa looked at his Blizzard and answered, "Butterfinger with chocolate sprinkles. Deliciousness at its best!"

Vegeta huffed, "I still wanted to go to Burger King."

Krillin asked, "Why do you want to go to Burger King? What's at Burger King?"

Vegeta responded, "A Big Mac."

Krillin paused before asking incredulously, "A… Big Mac?"

Vegeta stated, "Yes, I want a Big Mac. Why, what's wrong with a Big Mac?"

Krillin answered, "Uh… I don't know which Burger King you went to in the universe, but you can't get a Big Mac at Burger King. You can only get a Whopper."

Vegeta looked confused as he said, "But you get Whoppers at McDonalds."

Goku said, "I thought you could only get Whoppers on Pokemon."

Vegeta said condescendingly, "That's Wooper, Kakarot."

Krillin pondered, "Maybe it's different in space."

Vegeta stated, "I got my Big Mac at the Burger King down the street."

Krillin exclaimed, "But that's impossible! You can only get a Big Mac at McDonalds!"

Vegeta slammed the table and growled, "I ordered a Big Mac, and I got a damn Big Mac!"

Goku sighed and said, "I wish we went to the hot dog joint down the road."

Nappa said happily, "I'd like a dog with the works!"

Vegeta stated, "Well I don't."

Krillin asked, "Why Vegeta?"

Vegeta looked uncomfortable as he said, "Hot dogs give me gas."

Nappa pouted, "But I wanna hot dog! C'mon Vegeta, don't be a weenie!"

Vegeta's eyes narrowed as he said, "What did you say? I will hurt you for making that stupid hot dog pun."

Goku said, "Oh come on Vegeta! Don't be so… Frank!"

Nappa, Goku, and Krillin laughed as Vegeta growled.

As the laughter died, Vegeta growled, "I swear to God I'm going to kill all of you someday."

Krillin said, "Come on Vegeta! Someday you'll relish this moment!"

With that, Vegeta let loose a bloodcurdling scream and shot through the roof.

Nappa sighed and said, "Aw, he forgot his food. Oh well, more for me!"

* * *

Tloj: _Hope you enjoyed it! The Ghosts saga will be back next week during regular posting day, and hopefully concluded. R&R, if you please!_


	5. Ghosts (Part 4)

Tloj: _Apologies for not posting last week. I got writer's block and the thing's a bitch when it only blocks a certain story and not others. Looks like this one's going to last another chapter... But, introducing Raditz's friend, straight from my bro Legsboy Team's story Mario Underground, meet Antonio Slogluiginoff, Jr. the Third!_

* * *

Vegeta walked out from a clothes store with Nappa and his gang waiting outside.

"Hey Vegeta, you look pretty good in that!" Nappa commented.

Vegeta wore a red shirt and yellow slacks, so very unprincelike.

"It's the only thing they had in stock, stupid Hell gift shop." Vegeta grumbled.

"Well it could be worse." Nappa said. "They could have only had pink in stock."

Vegeta stated, "Yes, and for that I am somewhat thankful. Now, what were we doing last chapter?"

Raditz blinked and said, "Last chapter… What?"

Nappa thought before saying, "We were going to scare someone!"

"Woah… What happened?"

Everyone turned to look at a fifteen year old boy, who looked very confused.

"Oh, hi there little boy! It looks like you're a ghost!" Nappa said happily.

The boy blinked before his eyes turned as big as saucers.

"No! That means… Dad died!"

Vegeta growled, "The hell are you talking about, kid? And why do you look familiar?"

The kid had pinkish grey hair and a jacket that read Capsule Corp on the side and a sword strapped to his back.

"Wait a minute…" The boy said, "You're Dad!"

Vegeta blinked before that registered. Then he backtracked as if a disease was right in front of him.

"Oh God… I have a son?!" Vegeta sputtered.

"You have a son?!" Dodoria asked, surprised.

"He has a son?!" Raditz shouted.

"I have a nephew?!" Nappa exclaimed happily.

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

Everyone but the boy and Nappa turned and shouted, "**SHUT UP!**"

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" it screeched again, unperturbed.

Raditz said, "Say your name, kid."

"My name is Trunks. And I'm from the future." Trunks said.

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

Vegeta snapped at the fish-faced alien, "Tell me something I don't know!"

The alien screeched, "**WITHOUT SPIT, YOUR STOMACH WOULD DIGEST ITSELF!**"

Vegeta took a step back out of surprise, before recovering and saying, "Uh… Okay."

Raditz said, "Okay… Trunks… How did you get here?"

Trunks paced while saying, "I don't know. But if Dad died in the past, that means that Mom never got married to him, and I was never born. So… Dad's dead?"

Vegeta said, "And if I'm your supposed father, and I'm here, then yes, we're both dead. Well, I'm dead and you're nonexistent. Sucks to be you, now doesn't it?"

Nappa scolded, "Vegeta! This is your son! Be nice!"

Vegeta scoffed and said, "Please! He's undoubtedly weaker than Kakarot's son!"

Trunks said, "Uh… I can turn Super Saiyan."

Vegeta paused before shrieking, "What?! WHAT?! My SON is a Super Saiyan and I'm NOT?!"

Everyone cringed while Vegeta started screaming bloody murder at the top of his lungs and the alien screeched "**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" over and over again.

Trunks quickly said, "Hey, calm down! Since I wasn't born, then I can't turn Super Saiyan, right?"

Raditz stated, "Doubt it. How about we go haunt someone now?"

Vegeta quit yelling and huffed, "Fine. Let's go."

"Wait!" Trunks shouted, "I don't know any of you! Tell me your names!"

Nappa said, "I'm Nappa! I'm Vegeta's veeeery best friend!" He then said quickly in a monotone voice (as the camera focused on that person just as quickly), "That's Raditz, that's Dodoria, that's Vegeta, that's Trunks, that guy we still don't know his name-"

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

"And that's Lord Frieza beating the snot out of Kakarot." A quick frame showed Frieza batting Goku around like a pinball.

"But… I'm Trunks." Trunks said confusedly.

"That's right! And this is Vegeta! He's a prison-"

"If you dare finish that sentence, I will shove you so far up your ass that your head with come out of your mouth."

Nappa had the presence of mind to not complete his thought that time. He did, however say quickly, "That'sthecrewlet'sgo."

All of them flew away, leaving Trunks far behind.

Trunks blinked before shouting, "Hey! Wait for me!"

They flew for a few minutes before Dodoria questioned, "So… Who are we haunting?"

Nappa shook his head and answered, "Dunno, I thought someone else knew."

Vegeta sighed and stated, "You're hopeless, Nappa."

Nappa exclaimed, "Hey! I'm not helpless!"

Vegeta stared at Nappa for the longest time before he said, "I said hopeless, not- You know what, never mind."

Raditz exclaimed, "Oh, we could visit my friend! I'm sure he'll know who we could haunt!"

Vegeta growled impatiently, "Then let's get going."

They followed Raditz for a solid thirty minutes before Nappa got bored.

"Are we there yet?" Nappa asked.

"No." Vegeta growled.

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?"

Vegeta snapped, "I will break your legs if you ask me that again."

Nappa was silent for five minutes. Five whole minutes. Before…

"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves-"

"Quit your annoying singing!" Vegeta roared.

Nappa remained silent for two more minutes before asking, "Are we there yet?"

Vegeta blinked before stating, "Nappa?"

"Yes Vegeta?"

"Keep singing."

"Yay! It doesn't matter if you love me… or capital M-E. E. E. E."

Dodoria questioned, "Are you sure you should just let him sing?"

Vegeta retorted, "I would _love_ to see you provide a quiet way to keep him distracted."

Dodoria was about to respond when Raditz announced, "We're here!"

It turns out that they had flown to another planet, and it was inhabited by strange individuals. But Raditz ignored all of them and flew into a building marked, "Dave Enterprises".

"Antonio! Where are you?" Raditz called.

"Radish-Head!"

They all turned to face an arthromorphic red fox that came up to slightly above Raditz's waist. He was dressed in a green shirt and blue overalls with white gloves and brown shoes, as well as a green cap with an A emblazoned on the front.

Vegeta looked at the creature in disgust before stating, "THIS is your friend?"

Raditz answered, "Trust me, he's more awesome than he looks. Hey Antonio, we're going to go haunt some people. Know anyone good?"

Antonio said, "Sure! Lemme go ghost!"

His body fell to the ground, but he still stood in the same spot as a ghost.

"Okay, let's go bug somebody!" Antonio said excitedly.

"Yay!" Nappa shouted.

They flew until they saw a large castle, where Antonio announced, "We're here! Bartlebutt Mansion!"

"Who lives here, a king?" Dodoria questioned.

"Oh, he would _love_ to think so. Nope, this is the mansion of Bartleby, by far THE scummiest piece of scum this part of the universe." Antonio answered.

"What makes him scum?" Trunks asked curiously.

"Come inside and he'll show you himself." Antonio responded, walking through the front door.

The team soon followed, and they found one _ugly_ looking… mink it looked like? And its voice was so snobbish! But enough about that.

"_Baaartleby… Baaaaaaartleby!_"

"Huh?! Who's there?!" the mink shouted, looking around.

Antonio and the gang poofed in front of him, and both him and Nappa said, "We're haunting you."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAH!"

"Man, dude's got a pair of lungs on him." Dodoria commented, "And, in memory of Zarbon, quite a pair of legs too."

Of course, what was implied was somewhat true; Bartleby was running away as fast as he could.

"So what's the plan?" Raditz asked.

Vegeta growled, "I say we split into teams, I'll take myself and you guys can split yourself as you see fit."

Raditz stated, "No, you'll go with Nappa. We can't very well leave him alone."

Trunks said, "I'll go with Mr. Dodoria."

Vegeta said, "Kid, this may come as much as a shock to you as it did me, but Dodoria is a woman."

Trunks was smiling in anticipation of the fun to come, but as soon as he heard that, his face slowly turned into a frown, then one of shock and fear.

Dodoria huffed, "Why is that so hard to understand?!"

"Maybe it's because your body just screams fat girl that hangs around a bar." Antonio said innocently.

Dodoria bristled and growled, "Do you have a death wish?"

Antonio gasped and answered, "Yeah! I wish that Waldo would meet a horrible end! How did you know?!"

Dodoria gaped before murmuring, "This guy is an entire burger short of a Space Happy Meal!"

Raditz said, "We're not making that guy pee his pants standing here, let's go! I'll take Antonio! Who's going to take-"

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**" The fish-faced alien screeched.

"Uh, yeah, him?" Raditz finished.

They all were silent before Vegeta said quickly, "All in favor of leaving him here just in case the mortal doubles back."

"Aye!" Everyone except the alien shouted.

"The ayes have it, good luck here!" Vegeta shot away, Nappa on his ghostly tail.

"**I CAN SEE THE FUTURE!**"

* * *

Tloj:_ See you guys next week._

Antonio: _Hey! You forgot to mention who owns everything!_

Tloj: _You're absolutely right. Dragon Ball Z and it's Abridged counterpart are owned by Funimation or something and Team Four Star, respectively. Antonio Slogluiginoff is owned by Reagan Perez of Legsboy Team, and Bartleby is probably owned by Sega, why they'd accept claim for such a horrible character is beyond me._

Antonio: _Now off to find Waldo. __**AND TORTURE HIM FOR BEING SO DANG HARD TO **__**FIND!**_

Tloj:_ You do that. Anyways, when this arc is finished, what should I do next? A Two Saiyans Play arc, or a more Sonic Heroes type story arc?_


End file.
